Knitting with dog hair and how to poo at work

Something frivolous for a Friday afternoon.

As I’m in the advanced stages of editing my second novel (which has a seemingly strange premise – more on that here), I thought it would be a good opportunity to look at some of the strange offerings already out there.

No really, you’re most welcome.

1. Anyone can be cool?

Not as cool as you guys.

To be honest, I can only dream of the kind of awesome you’re talking about.

 

---

2. A beginner’s guide to…?

What? Say what?

Do readers have to die before reading the book? Or do you do some real life planning before slipping off that mortal coil…?

---

3. Away with you, damn sheep

My dog is a ginger Hungarian Vizsla. I hope it works for short hair as well because I’ll be knitting both my children all of their winter sweaters from her hair from now on. Except… well, she doesn’t really shed. Should I just shave her?

So many questions unanswered…

---

4. It’s not just sweaters…

You didn’t think you cat lovers would be left out, did you? Oh no.

Hours of fun and laughter crafting with cat hair. Hours, I tell thee.

 

---

 5. Why waste valuable time just sitting?

You thought toilets were just for defecation, right?

Wrong, so very, very wrong. As wrong as Katie Hopkins (sorry, just did a little bit of sick in my mouth) on just about everything that drools out of her viscous, obnoxious mouth.

So, no more slacking on the toilet. It’s yoga time. Got it?

---

6. Though beds were for sleeping or sex?

Think again.

Get fit without getting out of bed. It’s like dieting without giving up chocolate, wine or cakes. Something like that anyway.

---

7. He’s not strange…

He just wants to live his life that way.

 

---

8. Um… no.

Just no.

 

---

9. I don’t know…

Sounds kind of fun, actually…

 

---

10. You had me at ‘drink’

Okay. This one I can go with.

 

Happy weekends everyone 😀

---

Now for the marketing bit…

Beat The Rain, Bestselling JHP Fiction title 2016, Goodreads Choice Awards nominee, Best Debut Author. It’s out now. You should probably buy it. You know you want to.

It’s not funny, by the way. Well, it is a little bit. Mostly it’s sad. And truthful and honest about the human condition… stuff like that.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Canada | Barnes and Noble | Waterstones